Computer Error Haiku & Listserv Humor

If computer errors were written as haikus:

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

The file you need
might be very useful.
But now it is gone

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, reboot.
Order shall return.

Wind catches lily,
scattering petals to the ground.
Segmentation fault.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
File not found.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist.

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
The page is not here.

No keyboard present.
Press F1 to continue.
Zen engineering.

This site has moved.
We'd tell you where, but then
we'd have to delete you.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

Listserv Humor

Q.  How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?

A.  1,392:

1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently,

4 to complain that they were happy with the old one,
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs,
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs,
53 to flame the spell checkers,
156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list,

41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames,
109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb,
203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped,

111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** relevant to this mail list,

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty,

27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs,
14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs,
12 to flame the AOL users for violating netiqutte and blame them for starting this whole thing,
3 to post about links they found from the URLs that "are relevant to this list, which makes light bulbs relevant to this list,"

45 posts about weather or not AOL should even be allowed to exist,
33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too,"
12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy,
19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three,"
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ,
1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup,
47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here,
143 votes for alt.lite.bulb.